Day 6
I have been in Florida the past week--just got back today. The 60-60 experiment began while I was there. I'm finding it's even harder than I thought. The first couple of days were fine. I could pretty well pay attention to the beeps and connect with God on some level when I was supposed to. Those days I was on vacation, relaxing. I had time. I did have to remember to keep the beeper with me, though. It was just Dave and I, and he also had his beeper.
The next couple of days, we were with my son, his wife and 7 month old baby. The beeps were coming mostly in the middle of conversation, and it was not "convenient". I tried to keep up with it, but it was hard. I was distracted. Then today on the plane, I shut off the beeper, thinking it might cause a disturbance to people around me (or worse), although I still tried to remember to connect with God. (I need the beeper.)
But it was on the way to the airport that I learned the best lesson of my day. As I was "connecting" with God, I was thanking Him for my son's family but feeling sad about leaving them. I felt so blessed with the time we had spent together, and I was filled up with the love I have for them, but I was missing them. Then my thoughts went to God's love for me as his child. Here I am missing my children and longing for our next connection. Is that how God feels waiting for my next connection with Him? I realized that it must be so. The feelings of my own loneliness gave me a new perspective. I don't want God to be lonely for me. I want to warm his heart by spending time with him. Often. At least every 60 minutes!! I am thankful for this learning, and there's so much more to be learned in the coming days of the 60-60. Wow!
4 comments:
Okay. Here it is. Day 6.
What a bummer!
I feel like I'm getting this all wrong. I still have not found a watch that beeps every hour and the people I ask in stores like Wal-Mart and Target look at me like I have two heads when I ask if they have one. My cell-phone is just as frustrating. So I try to be aware of the time. Without the beep, it is difficult, but at the time, it's all I have. I must be the only one in Pine Knolls who has this problem about the beep.
This adds to my frustration, because on Day 6, I lost my temper at work. I didn't do anything with my anger or cuss or anything like that, but there were two people back in receiving who knew I was angry. I don't get angry very often so I imagine it surprised them. It was about having my work interrupted because I had to do someone else's work because they didn't know how to do it. This interruption happens from time to time and it usually doesn't bother me, but on this day, I had a lot of work to do and I knew that this was going to cut into time.
So I was angry. And I told God I was angry, Then, I told God that I do not like to get angry, but you know what, God...since I am angry, I like it and I want to stay angry for a little while longer. I wonder if that was like Pharoah when Moses asked him about the frogs. When do you want me to ask God to remove them? asks Moses. And Pharoah says, Tomorrow. But after a while, I simmered down. I asked God to forgive me and help me with that. You know, if I wasn't doing the 60/60, I probably wouldn't have asked God to forgive me about it. I probably wouldn't have given it any more of a thought. This revolution is helping me to be aware of God more than before so that when I find myself being in a negative situation, the thought really occurs to me that He is right there at my side.
Lastnight, is another example. I had some problems with my website and I almost got angry about it. But I closed the laptop, and prayed to God that He would take it from me. I believe He did. I am ready to face this new day and look forward to what He has for me.
God bless.
Me B
to MeBAuthor
About the beeper. I am using a simple kitchen timer purchased at Target. They had a good selection in the housewares section. I chose a small white one that is easy to set and reset. It's a little loud, but not that bad. And it's working for me. Try target. Joan 0
"I don't want God to be lonely for me." Joan, that's a beautiful realization. Thank you for sharing. I'm going to write that down.
Thanks, Joan, for helping me see these connections with God through new eyes. Who can't identify with that "longing for the next connection" you felt on the plane? May I be conscious of my longing for God and His for me.
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