Last Thursday, I received a phone call from a Transplant Coordinator from Tufts University in Boston about a match for me and for John. (I will get a recipient for my kidney and John will have a donor give him a kidney; It's a pairing program.) Anyway, I have been waiting for this call for a long time. It had been a year since my first call, but something went awry on that call and the process was delayed. So I get this call and I'm told, "We have a match. We need you to come up to Boston for a complete workup and a catscan."
Well, I was estatic. Like I said, it has been a long wait for me, but an even longer one for my brother John. He had to wait two full years to be in remission from cancer before they would even consider putting him on the list. Well, he is on the list now and I am on the list to donate so that when I get a hit, he gets a hit and we both go "under" at the same time. Me to give to someone while a donor gives to John.
But I guess there are a lot more factors involved than I even know about. Thursday I was flying high because of that call. Friday comes and I get another call. The Coordinator tells me, "It fell through." Now I have ADD, so I'm thinking, well this has to be good news, right? 'Cause I'm thinking when something falls through, it's a good thing, but the tone of her voice told me it wasn't a good thing. So in the course of the night, from the time of the call on Thursday to the call on Friday, something had happened and this process will not go any further.
I was disheartened. My brother was encouraged by my reaction when I got the first call, I didn't think he would be encouraged with this reaction from the second one. But thinking about it, I have come to the realization through my wife that God has a plan in all of this. God has perhaps a specific person or persons in mind to move into position to maybe hear about Him or come to know Him. We don't see the big picture, but He does. That is encouraging because I know that this will happen and when it does, He is going to do a work. On a side note, I'd like to add that the recipient that was set up for me and the donor who was set up for John may also be disheartened about this falling through. We don't know who they are, but God does and we need to pray for them that God will strengthen them and lift them up.
On December 3 and 4 (Thursday and Friday), Nancy and I will still be heading up to Boston for that complete workup because my last one was a year ago. I need to be updated anyway. In this process, I know God is leading us to a place where He wants us to be. The second call is an indication to me that that place wasn't at this time.
The Soul Revolution is done, but even so, God is still closer to us than a beep away from a watch or an alarm or anything like that. I had felt like I failed, but Joe B Jr mentioned in church today that he was the kind of guy who was hard on himself. I hear you, Joe. I, too, am hard on myself, but today I feel that things are happening and He is at work, even if I can't see the results of that work right now. I have a problem with myself telling me that "I can't" or "It isn't going to come to pass" or I wind up almost believing certain lies from the devil that gives him a victory. I don't have to live in the negative. I can see through my brother and through my wife that God has already done a lot of marvelous works right in front of me that I am able to take a hold of. That I can see. Little Danny is a blessing in our lives! This morning, he was ready to go to "God's house" before any of us were ready, so his mom told him to play church while we were getting ready. I heard him say to his dad, "I wanna be Pastor Steve!" Thank God for Danny.
Thank God for all He has done and is doing in our lives every single day, with or without the beeps.
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Last Thursday, I received a phone call from a Transplant Coordinator from Tufts University in Boston about a match for me and for John. (I will get a recipient for my kidney and John will have a donor give him a kidney; It's a pairing program.) Anyway, I have been waiting for this call for a long time. It had been a year since my first call, but something went awry on that call and the process was delayed. So I get this call and I'm told, "We have a match. We need you to come up to Boston for a complete workup and a catscan."
Well, I was estatic. Like I said, it has been a long wait for me, but an even longer one for my brother John. He had to wait two full years to be in remission from cancer before they would even consider putting him on the list. Well, he is on the list now and I am on the list to donate so that when I get a hit, he gets a hit and we both go "under" at the same time. Me to give to someone while a donor gives to John.
But I guess there are a lot more factors involved than I even know about. Thursday I was flying high because of that call. Friday comes and I get another call. The Coordinator tells me, "It fell through." Now I have ADD, so I'm thinking, well this has to be good news, right? 'Cause I'm thinking when something falls through, it's a good thing, but the tone of her voice told me it wasn't a good thing. So in the course of the night, from the time of the call on Thursday to the call on Friday, something had happened and this process will not go any further.
I was disheartened. My brother was encouraged by my reaction when I got the first call, I didn't think he would be encouraged with this reaction from the second one. But thinking about it, I have come to the realization through my wife that God has a plan in all of this. God has perhaps a specific person or persons in mind to move into position to maybe hear about Him or come to know Him. We don't see the big picture, but He does. That is encouraging because I know that this will happen and when it does, He is going to do a work. On a side note, I'd like to add that the recipient that was set up for me and the donor who was set up for John may also be disheartened about this falling through. We don't know who they are, but God does and we need to pray for them that God will strengthen them and lift them up.
On December 3 and 4 (Thursday and Friday), Nancy and I will still be heading up to Boston for that complete workup because my last one was a year ago. I need to be updated anyway. In this process, I know God is leading us to a place where He wants us to be. The second call is an indication to me that that place wasn't at this time.
The Soul Revolution is done, but even so, God is still closer to us than a beep away from a watch or an alarm or anything like that. I had felt like I failed, but Joe B Jr mentioned in church today that he was the kind of guy who was hard on himself. I hear you, Joe. I, too, am hard on myself, but today I feel that things are happening and He is at work, even if I can't see the results of that work right now. I have a problem with myself telling me that "I can't" or "It isn't going to come to pass" or I wind up almost believing certain lies from the devil that gives him a victory. I don't have to live in the negative. I can see through my brother and through my wife that God has already done a lot of marvelous works right in front of me that I am able to take a hold of. That I can see. Little Danny is a blessing in our lives! This morning, he was ready to go to "God's house" before any of us were ready, so his mom told him to play church while we were getting ready. I heard him say to his dad, "I wanna be Pastor Steve!" Thank God for Danny.
Thank God for all He has done and is doing in our lives every single day, with or without the beeps.
Michael
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